October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but I’ve been very hesitant to say anything about it.
Recently someone insinuated that it was obvious from my posts that I liked having breast cancer. 😳 They said I liked the attention it gave me and that mine wasn’t that bad because I only had to have radiation. They had to unfriend me because they couldn’t take hearing it anymore. (Which is ok… really. I’m not upset. I don’t say that to sound upset! When I feel hurt about it, I know it’s a reminder to pray for them.)
They wanted to silence me. Truth? They did. I wondered and prayed, “Did I share because I wanted the attention?” So I became quiet to make sure that wasn’t my purpose. I needed to check my heart.
You know what? It wasn’t why I shared at all. So, I’m not being silent any longer. Here’s what you need to know…
1. Women, I need you to get checked. Check yourself. Get tested. I had zero risk factors of getting breast cancer. Zero. I found it in the shower one day. I tried to ignore it, but It didn’t go away. It hurt. People say breast cancer doesn’t hurt. Mine did. Cancer shows up in many ways.
2. Don’t ignore anything. That person was right… I “only” had radiation. Im thankful I didn’t have to have chemo. I didn’t BECAUSE I found it and went in early. The doctor said 2 more months and I would haven’t had the same treatment plan. I will scream it from the top of my lungs, “CHECK YOURSELF!!!” Now. Today. Check Every month. Have a Mammogram once a year. You are worth it. I repeat… you are worth it! Those who love you are worth it!
3. Just because my active treatment is done and successful, doesn’t mean the fight is over. I take daily medicine (for the next 9 years and 6 months… not that I’m counting) that causes my body to hurt and keeps me exhausted. I have had shots for the last 5 months that put me into menopause. I will have them until I have a hysterectomy. The finality of a hysterectomy is emotionally overwhelming. Trust me.
I will forever look different. One side will always look different… and it continues to change because of the radiation. Does it matter? Not to anyone but me. But, believe me, it’s hard to see. It’s a constant reminder. (TMI? Well… sorry. It’s reality.)
There are still moments of tightness and pain from the surgeries. I don’t know if that will ever end. Ever.
So, the fight continues…. the cancer fight, but even more, the constant fight against fear of it returning is very real.
That’s the truth about breast cancer. I wish it was as pretty as the pink ribbon.
4. I didn’t share for attention. In fact, it’s awkward and uncomfortable to share. I have plenty of support without having to share with people I don’t know well (although your love and prayers have meant so much!)
I shared the details of my journey because I need the world to know life isn’t perfect for anyone. It’s hard sometimes. It doesn’t seem fair. We all have struggles (mine isn’t any harder than others), but no matter what you go through… GOD is faithful. HE is faithful.
On the hard days
The good days
The sick days
The painful days
The exciting days
The lonely days
The confusing days
The celebratory days
The last days
All the days.. HE is faithful. And HE is good.
No matter how my journey ended… I wanted to say from the beginning… HE is faithful and good. I wanted to be certain there would be purpose found in my pain, and that purpose would be to point people to Jesus.
And so, my silence is broken. I’m back. Who knew Breast Cancer Awareness month would give me my voice back?Maybe louder than before.
My friends, what’s your story? Don’t let anyone silence your voice; the world needs to hear it! Your pain and your story has Kingdom purpose!
