I am exhausted today. I don’t know why, I just am. As I put ANOTHER load of laundry in, I have to admit….I wasn’t doing it joyfully. I was irritated. And grumpy. And feeling kinda sorry for myself if you want the whole ugly truth. Suddenly, I had a random, crystal clear flashback to college. I was at a church […]
Every single time I walk into the oncologist’s office, so many memories come rushing back. I remember my first time here like it was yesterday…. I cried sitting in the lobby. I was so frightened. I didn’t know what to expect. Fear gripped me so tightly. Until… HIS sweet peace filled me, I realized how close HE was, and HE […]
Our washer and dryer are broken… which is kind of a big deal with such a big family. We finally found someone to come fix it today! I was so excited! I should have been concerned when he told me he was here to fix my refrigerator…Or when he griped and griped, rudely telling me I hadn’t cleaned out my […]
I’ll be honest, since radiation ended, I’ve struggled. Really struggled. I’ve worried… What if they didn’t get it all? What if there was one cell left? What if it comes back more aggressive than before? What if this thing that I’m eating/putting on my body/being around is causing me cancer? What if…. Truth is, I’ve kind of shut down a […]
Today was my last day of radiation. I cried. I cried all the way there. It seems like I’ve been going every day for forever. I know it’s only been a month, but it seems like forever. I cried when the tech came to get me. They have become the dearest friends to me. Although I did tell them, “I […]
Sometimes the Lord puts something on my heart to share that I get so excited about I can hardly wait. This isn’t one of them. This has been on my heart since radiation on Friday. I’ve tried to ignore it, but I can’t. I’ve said, “GOD, this is too private. This is too sensitive. This feels too vulnerable. I don’t […]
“Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?” Song of Songs 8:5a As I was l was lying on the radiation table I was thinking about this scripture, and it was almost as if I could see it. I could imagine myself in the distance walking out of my wilderness, leaning on my beloved, Jesus. You […]
Today I did NOT want to go to radiation. I didn’t want to leave my kids. I didn’t want to go in the rain. I didn’t want to get more burnt. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Go. (That’s me sounding like a 2 year old throwing a fit!) But I went. I checked in, changed out of my top, put […]
Tomorrow morning, six days after finding out I have breast cancer, I have surgery. Due to the coronavirus, things are happening quickly. The hope is to remove the cancer (lumpectomy) and a few lymph nodes to test, and we will determine the next steps from there. This isn’t how it normally works, but I believe HIS timing is perfect. Then […]
Have you ever had an MRI? In case you haven’t let me tell you about it. They lie you on a table, give you some earplugs, and tell you not to move, not to breathe too heavily, not to talk, not to do anything or the scan will not work. They put an escape pull in your hand. If you […]
