Tomorrow morning, six days after finding out I have breast cancer, I have surgery. Due to the coronavirus, things are happening quickly. The hope is to remove the cancer (lumpectomy) and a few lymph nodes to test, and we will determine the next steps from there. This isn’t how it normally works, but I believe HIS timing is perfect.
Then we wait.
If genetic testing comes back negative and lymph nodes are clear, I have radiation for 3-4 weeks.
If lymph nodes come back not clear, I have chemo.
If genetic testing comes back positive, I will have a double mastectomy when the virus is better controlled.
If GOD has miraculously healed me, (which I will never count out. . .HE can change name of the Cancer to Healed anytime HE wants. Trust me…I know HIM. HE IS ABLE!) then we will shout it from the highest mountain!
I’m not sure which path we will have to travel, but I’m 100% certain I know the One holding my hand!
I have felt so much peace today. I have walked around singing and cleaning this house! (Remember, I was really worried about cleaning my toilets. I also really needed the laundry done! Why are these things even on my mind right now? I’m not saying I did this, but I also may have shown my kids the top of my bruise from the biopsy to get a little sympothy so they would help more! LOL! Is that wrong?)
Then, suddenly, the hospital called.
“Mrs Kerley, we just needed to inform you that because of the coronavirus, you cannot have any visitors with you tomorrow.”
“Wait. . .I thought I could have one person with me.”
“I’m so sorry, they changed it this afternoon. You may have someone drop you off at the door, and we will call them when it’s time to bring you back out.”
The poor lady on the phone. . .I just started sobbing. Sobbing. I have held it together at every other appointment. I didn’t even cry when they said I had cancer. But when they told me my husband could not be with me, I broke.
Y’all. . .if you knew my husband and our story you would know why. We have always loved each other with so much love, but in the last few months, GOD has taken our relationship to a whole different level. HE has united us like I never even knew possible. No one prays for me like that man does. No one loves me like he does. No one could ever compare to him. I had already told him, “You know what part of surgery I’m looking forward to? Waking up and seeing you.”
And I meant it.
Suddenly, he wasn’t going to be in there with me.
I would be alone for the scariest thing I have ever been through.
I cried. I apologized and apologized to the sweet lady on the phone. I knew it wasn’t her fault and that they were just trying to protect everyone. I wasn’t mad. I was just so very sad.
I crieid some more after hanging up, and Jonathan wrapped his arms around me and promised me he would be praying in the parking lot all day . . as close to the doors as he could park.
Suddenly, it felt like it was time to stop the tears. I’m not sure why. Something just rose up in me, and I remembered who my Source was.
I remembered, “So do not fear, for I am with you;.do not be dismayed, for I am your GOD. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
I wish my husband could be with me tomorrow, but times are different and he can’t. But I am certain of this…I will not be alone. The GOD of the universe is with me and HE will stregthen and uphold me just as HE always does.
These uncertain times have made everyone a little on edge, a little concerned of the future, overwhelmed with the news of today feeling a little isolated and alone.
You know what HE says to you? “I AM WITH YOU!”
If you’re worried about the virus, HE IS WITH YOU!
If you are struggling financially, HE IS WITH YOU!
If a relationship is broken, HE IS WITH YOU!
If you got a bad report, HE IS WITH YOU!
If you feel alone and like no one cares, HE IS WITH YOU!
If you are overwhelmed, HE IS WITH YOU!
If you have lost someone you loved, HE IS WITH YOU!
GOD ALMIGHTY is with us, helping us, holding us,and strengthening us. I don’t know about you, but that makes me want to shout!!
We have nothing to fear! You have nothing to fear! You can trust HIM, no matter what!
HE IS WITH YOU!
I am praying for you and your family, Kristin.God bless you and your family he always takes care of his own you know that you’re a strong Christian woman. God bless you all
Sweet girl my heart is breaking for you tonight i just ready your post i wish i could do something for you but know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful family during this journey you are facing now and the next few days God’s got this praying for your healing i loved you the first time Yvonne told me who you were,what a blessing you are to so many people during this time,as i told you before my mom who is 87 yrs young lol found out the same way you did it rocked our world but once again God was right there with us,and she got through it she didnt have to have chemo she took the radiation for four weeks and did great and she went for her two year check up after Christmas and thank God she is doing good they did not have to remove her breast,i know your children are wondering what is going on with mommie but i pray for them as well and your husband,looking forward to hearing good news and know there are lots of people praying for you during the time Love and Prayers,
Kristin- I am believing with you. We’re praying for you and your family.
My heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. I am also praying for the medical staff that will be caring for you. God Bless. May his presence be felt and comfort and peace be with you, during this difficult time.
What an inspiration! We are praying.
Hugs. I’m so glad that through it all He is with us. I’m praying that you feel how dear you are to Him tomorrow as you come out of surgery and I am sure that reunion with your husband will be a precious one!
I pray as you sleep tonight you feel God’s almighty presence. I pray HE surrounds you with HIS presence and HIS peace as you walk through tomorrow. I pray HE heals you miraculously before the surgery begins. I know HE can, but if He chooses the route of the medical staff, I pray HE guides their hands, their thoughts and decisions. I pray you see that great crowd of witnesses that are cheering you on, both those who love you who are here on earth and those who love you who have already made it home. I pray for miracles and changed lives to be a result of this journey. I love you, my Special Daughter.
Rick and I will definitely be praying for you tomorrow.
Although I have only met you once, you have been brought to my mind several times over the last few days. I have lifted your name to the Lord and asked for miraculous healing and peace for your family. The Lord sent me to the scripture “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged““Deuteronomy 31:8 Prayers for you, Jonathan & the children 🙏
Praying for you pink sister! I had a lumpectomy on Monday. I’m so blessed! John 16:33 is a great verse!
Praying for you! I see my surgeon tomorrow. i need a mastectomy soon! And I suspect that this will be what I will deal with too. God will be with us!
Sending prayers! Thank you for this I am having a left side mastectomy on Tuesday and my fear has been that they are not going to let my hubby be there. Your word have brought peace to me. Our Heavenly Father has us always and we shall not fear but have faith. Prayers and hugs 🤗
I’m praying for healing sweet friend! God is with you always!!
Your faith is a beacon burning bright! I will be praying for peace, comfort and strength for you and your family. May our Heavenly Father continue to bless you!
My eyes were so tired tonight. I glanced at this post, as I have just started following your blog, reading a bit at a time. As I read one sentence, I had to read the next, and the next, and the next….I went from tired eyes to eyes wide open and fully engaged.
As I continued reading, you did make my eyes burn a little as you brought me to TEARS!!! Oh my goodness, your love for the Lord, your love for your husband…and then to hear he couldn’t be with you at the hospital, GASP!!
I love the inspiration and strength exhibited through your writing. You truly set a compelling example of what real strength is, how love feels and how trust is supposed to be in HIM. I needed to read that. Your timing is perfectly placed for me to reflect upon some decisions I am struggling with lately. Your message serves as reminder to me not to worry about tomorrow. I have to let go of what I don’t know, can’t control, and quit trying to figure everything out myself. I am reminded that HE is with me today and will lead me every step of tomorrow.
Thank you Kristin, I am praying for you.