Today was my last day of radiation.
I cried.
I cried all the way there. It seems like I’ve been going every day for forever. I know it’s only been a month, but it seems like forever.
I cried when the tech came to get me. They have become the dearest friends to me. Although I did tell them, “I don’t think real friends burn friends like y’all do!” 
I cried as I got on the table. That table has been a place I had to lie down… not just my body, but my fear as well.
I cried as they lined me up. Those lines have been on my body since I started. They were constant marks of what I was going through. They would soon be gone.
I cried as the door closed. It was the last time I would be physically alone behind that door. And I was reminded I was never alone. HE has been with me every day in that room.
I cried as the machine started. It’s loud buzzing reminding me of why I was there. I prayed it would burn up any cell of cancer left. I prayed it would chase down the cancer and destroy it! I prayed for a cure.
I cried as I prayed for those I pray for every day. Their names have become such an important part of my time there. Some I know well, some I may never meet this side of heaven, but I wept today for them.
And then I cried and prayed, “Oh GOD, you have been so faithful to meet me hear every single day. I have felt you so close. I have heard your voice so clearly… clearer than I ever have before. I don’t want this to end.”And so clearly I heard, “I have always been speaking, you just had to be still enough to hear ME.”
Oh JESUS, I won’t stop. I will be still and listen. I don’t want to miss a word YOU have to say.
I cried as I said goodbye to the lady that has radiation after me. She’s 81. She has become my sister. Not only is she fighting cancer, she is a sister in Christ. She is a hero.
I cried as I said goodbye to the employees. They don’t just have a job, they have a ministry.
I cried as I distance hugged the hospital cleaning lady. I don’t know why we had such a special bond, but we did. There was a communication barrier, but we agreed on 2 things. We loved Jesus and we loved each other.
I cried when I rang the bell. That bell screamed, “IT IS FINISHED!” To me!
I cried when I saw those I love outside cheering me on. 
I cry just thinking about it now! You will never ever know what that meant to me. It was such a display of HIS love. The body of Christ…nothing is more beautiful.
I’ve cried reading all the posts and messages today. I appreciate every single one. When I’m not so exhausted I’m going to respond.
But mostly, I’ve just cried because I’m so thankful. HE has been so faithful…so very faithful.
HE has healed my body
HE has restored meHE has annihilated fear
HE has set me free
HE has been closer, even than a brother
HE has healed my heart
HE has reminded me of purpose
HE has been so good, and I will forever be thankful. Forever. I’m no one special. HE can do the same for you… trust HIM. If you don’t know how, message me! HE loves and is waiting for you!
