Several weeks ago I found a lump in my breast. I tried to ignore it, tried
to push it to the back of my mind, and found a million reasons to not have it
checked out. Last week, however, I couldn’t think of anything else. Everything
in me knew I needed to have it checked.
I went for a mammogram on Wednesday. (Besides the fact that mammograms
themselves aren’t much fun, why is it freezing in there? Why? Couldn’t we at
least make it feel comfortable? I have some suggestions. . .soothing music,
warm temperatures, maybe a fountain for some pleasing background noise.) When
the doctor saw the pictures, he wanted some more specific images taken. Within
minutes, they told me they needed to do an ultrasound, and I was rushed to the
ultrasound room. (Which was thankfully much, much warmer!)
As she did the ultrasound, we talked about family and God. We talked about
the sweet lady who works at the gas station who just told me she was pregnant.
We talked about loving people. We talked about healing. We talked about pain.
We talked about lumps in breasts. She teared up, and said, “I’m not
allowed to tell you anything, the doctor will do that. But know that you are
going to be ok, I just know it. You have a lot of people you need to
love.”
The doctor walked in within minutes and told me what I expected. “It
looks like cancer. You need a biopsy as soon as possible.”
They put my husband and I in a room while we waited for them to set up the
appointment for us. I cried. He cried. We prayed. We prayed all night. The
thing is, I believe in miracles. I have seen deaf ears opened. I have seen the
lame walk. I have seen miracle after miracle in my children. I believe that GOD
is still Jehovah Rapha, and that HE is still my healing. I believed HE could
miraculously heal me and the result could be benign.
My biopsy was on Thursday. The surgeon said what I expected, “It looks
just like cancer, but we will wait and see..”
24 hours seems like a very long time to wait for an answer.
At 2:30 am, I woke up and needed to pray. I didn’t feel fearful, I just felt
like I needed some time with Jesus. I went into my prayer closet, and began to
pray, fully expecting HIM to heal me. Here is what HE said so very clearly,
“It will not be benign, but it will have purpose.”
That wasn’t what I hoped to hear, but the peace that flooded me in that
moment was beyond what I could ever explain.
.The next day at 4:48 pm, we received the call, “Kristin, you have
breast cancer.”
You would think I would have lost my mind, but I didn’t. I already knew.
She said cancer. I heard Purpose.
Please don’t get me wrong, I have had some moments of fear. I have had some
moments of tears. I have had some moments of anger. I have had some moments I
wanted to lie in the floor, kicking and screaming that it just isn’t fair. The
amazing thing about GOD, HE can handle all of that.
But more than any of those emotions, I have had peace that can only come
from HIM. We have spent time reading the Word. We have spent time praying. We
have spent time as a family with our hands lifted high, worshipping the only
ONE who can make purpose from our pain.
I don’t know what the purpose of this journey is, but this I know. . .the
enemy will regret messing with me. He will wish he had left me alone, because I
will declare the love and goodness of the LORD louder than I ever have. You
think I was radical before. . .you haven’t seen anything yet.
I am certain of this. . .HE is faithful. Always.
When cancer comes, HE is faithful.
When coronavirus shakes a nation or a home, HE is faithful.
When relationships crumble, HE is faithful.
When the financial situation looks impossible, HE is faithful.
When we lose a child, HE is faithful.
When a loved one dies, HE is faithful.
When we lose our job, HE is faithful.
When the world seems to be falling apart, HE is faithful.
And HE is faithful to take our pain and change it to purpose.
I’m still praying and believing for healing. No matter if HE chooses to
miraculously heal me or use physicians, HE is faithful and I will remain
confident that there is purpose in my pain just like there is purpose in yours!
We have a lot of people we need to love.
Purposefully yours,
Kristin
HE IS faithful. He DOES have a purpose. We’ve seen it time and again over this past 15 months. No matter where this road takes you, remember Gods plan is perfect. he knows how to sustain us through those days that look like we just can’t go on. This past week has been very hard at our house…but HE has given us the strength to keep fighting.
Kristen you are one strong woman. You are such an inspiration to others. God has wrapped his arms wrapped around you and will see you through this. The devil better watch out.
Kristen, you are an inspiration! You are one of the toughest, most god loving women I know. My prayers and thoughts will be with you during your journey. Hugs and prayers my sweet friend.
Love you
Agreeing in Jesus Name. Praying for you and your precious family.
Praying for you! You have a great purpose and thank you for sharing your story. God is good and he has a plan. I remind myself of that daily when more hurdles are thrown into the mix. Keep your head high.
Just added you to my prayer list! He IS faithful! You’ve got this! Big hugs and MANY prayers now and through this journey.
I just keep thinking of the song ‘ I Raise a Hallelujah’. We would not raise a hallelujah that you have cancer but that your faith is steadfast & that even in cancer, Jesus will be glorified. Praying for God to go before you in every part of this journey.
Blessings from Ecuador, HE IS GOD., and loves you.
Praying for you and your beautiful family, Kristin.
Blessings,
Jessica Usherwood
I’m 41. I have worked with Jonathan in the past and been on mission trips with him. I know you have a loving praying family. I am proud to tell you next month I’ll be celebrating my 3 year cancer free anniversary. Reach out if you have any questions. I was first told my lump was fine and that I was young (37) to wait and recheck in six months. So I let that cancer grow all that time but still had a beautiful outcome despite all things that go along with treatment regimens. I’ll be praying for you and Jonathan and the family. We must believe in the wisdom behind his will
Kristin please know I will pray for you.
Your Faith never ceases to amaze me. I will be praying for you. Love you my sister in Christ. Wendy Lawhorn
I don’t know if you will remember me but I remember you. I went to school with you and have always thought you were and still are an amazing person. I don’t talk to anyone much on Facebook but I follow your page and read your post regularly. Thank you for always being a light when my tunnel seems dark and reminding me of God’s faithfulness and love.
Kristin,
First off, I want to say I love you and will certainly be praying for you and your precious family 🙏❤️
I know God allows everything to happen for a reason! You are a light in a dark place, you are a joy to know, your smile is beautiful and warms a heart, your spirit is strong, courageous and inspiring, your love for others is astonishing, you have a gentle spirit, that has always amazed me, your love for our Redeemer shines through in everything you do, your family is a reflection of you!!! I am beyond blessed to have shared a little bit of time in your life and be in your home and grow to love your beautiful family! First time I walked in, I felt such a calm and peace that only God can give. You and Jonathan are such special people. God has His hands on you and will carry you through this new chapter in your life. I have no doubt that God will be glorified in every step of this journey. You have so many you have touched in so many wonderful ways!!!! God is forever faithful….. Stand Still And Let God Move!!!!
Thank you for who you are and the example you are to everyone! May God richly bless you and wrap you in His strong arms and His healing power cover and fill your body and soul!!!
I love you and will be praying 🙏❤️
Love and prayers,
Yvonne Johns
Wow it’s so hard to know the words to use to express what you’re feeling when you here news like this. You have nearly 200 comments and even more responses in less than an hour of posting this. God has always used you and you have always been a bright light and smiled your beautiful smile through any circumstances. I can only imagine how he will use this circumstance and cause so many to be in your presence and cross your paths so you can share your testimony and Jesus. Your peace when you’re sitting quietly in a waiting room or wherever you are with others they will see Him in you. Oh yes sweet Kristen He has a purpose! My heart and my mommas heart hate this for you and will be praying for you throughout it all. And your family.
Amen and Amen!
Kristin, my shield of faith is joined together with yours to extinguish every fiery arrow of the enemy…including cancer !
I am agreeing with you for your supernatural healing and trust that the Lord’s purpose is fulfilled completely in Jesus.
Much Love!
Sam
This blog may not be the “book” a lot of us have said you should write. But I truly feel in my spirit that your journey through this will touch more lives than you could ever imagine! To God be the glory!!!
You are so loved my sweet friend and I am one of those that love you. My mom was a breast cancer survivor after having a double mastectomy and all the treatments. The Lord gave her 29 years with us after that. God is good and He will walk this journey with you sweetheart. On a side note, I am on the American Cancer Society Board and am actually chairing October’s Breast Cancer Events in Chattanooga. I may just have to call on you to share with others what God did for you because I just believe you are going to walk thru this with a story that other ladies will need to hear. I see everyday what this disease does and I really believe that you will have “a Kristin Story” that will need to be told. I love you and Jonathan and those precious kiddos. You are going to be in my prayers, I promise.
You are SO right!! The devil is going to regret the day he touched your life! He just set you up to display the miracle working power of your loving all-powerful God!!
One thing I know – the Lord is your Healer
Another thing I know – the prayer of the
righteous will prevail
Another thing I know – the Father is faithful
And I know He will deliver you
God’s purpose played out through this will magnificently display not only God’s faithfulness to you, but your inspiring unwavering faithfulness to Him!!
I’ll walk this step by step with you because I love you and because I don’t want to miss the amazing hand and love of God at work through you and this PURPOSE!!
You are not alone! When you are tired, others and I can stand in the gap. We will support you practically and purposefully. You are a perfect creation of God without flaw or blemish because of the work He has done and is doing in you. Thank you for sharing in the pain so that we may bear witness to the unfolding of purpose. I love you deeply and always.
There is an older worship song by Dallas Holm that I keep singing this morning. Part of the words are, “Here we are in your presence, lifting holy hands to you. Here we are praising Jesus, for the things He’s brought us through. I don’t have the words to tell you how I feel. I just don’t know what I can say. I’m not worthy to speak your holy name. Yet you tell me you love me just the same.” I don’t have the words to say to Him this morning. My heart breaks for your pain, my sweet daughter. I wish this didn’t have to happen. I will lift my hands in praise along with you, Jon and our sweet grandchildren. Daddy and I will walk along beside you. Trusting in God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. There is a purpose.
Kristin,
I taught with your mom at Bright, and six years ago I began my journey with triple negative breast cancer. Though no two journeys are ever the same, if you ever find that you would like to talk with someone who has been there, I am happy to share my journey. Your strong faith and determination will bring you through this! I have no doubt!
Vicki
Psalm 139
1
Lord, you have examined Kristin’s heart and know everything about her.
5
You go before her and follow her. You place your hand of blessing on your daughters head.
7
She can never escape from your Spirit! She can never get away from your presence!
10
Your hand will guide her, and your strength will support her.
13
You made all the delicate, inner parts of Kristin’s body and knit her together in her mother’s womb.
14
Thank you for making her wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15
You watched Kristin as she was being formed in utter seclusion, as she was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16
You saw her before she was born. Every day of her life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
17
How precious are your thoughts about Kristin, O God. They cannot be numbered!
18
I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when she wakes up, you are still with her!
Praying for continued peace that surpasses all understanding in the midst of His purposes. May it be that which stands guard over your heart and mind in every moment, dear sister. You are precious!
I will be praying for you and your family. He is faithful. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. It’s such a difficult season in the best of circumstances. 🙏
You will be lifted in prayer until your healing is completed! This blog is already giving the devil a black eye.,…thank you for your transparency and open faith in our Lord and Saviour! Love you friend!
Your in my prayers and the Stewart family loves you!
Amen , you are beautiful , trust him always , keep that faith , prayers to you and your family . GOD IS GOOD
Kristin I am praying for you. You and your faith are strong in the Lord! He is our strong tower. Love you❤️
Sandy
Hey cousin,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. You are not alone and I’ll be cheering you on as I go through my own cancer battle. Lets stay strong and not give the enemy any satisfaction.